Tuesday, June 1, 2010
within a breath
finally i could summon the strength, after so many days of rehabilitation. I have been sleeping for so many days; my head was simply too heavy to carry and my body was heating inside out. since the day before getting results i already had a fever. i thought it was a normal cold that could be slept away in one day. Never knew that it could be so serious after that. the moment i received my long awaited results, i was so nervous. i couldn't care tearing the envelope nicely, i just dyingly wanted to know whether did i pass or not. IF I FAIL, i will have to pay one thousand for the exam fee and retake it at the end of june, meaning no more semester break for me but studying everything all over again. i don't want that, cause' i really put in a lot of effort. i was so scared. but no matter what, i have prepared for the best and the worst. I flipped it open.
I PASSED.
With a 'B'. I can't believe it! :D My friend beside me suddenly cried. we opened at the same time. I was so scared again. i snatched over her result slip to see: she passed too. -.- what the, wrong expression.
Gradually i felt weak. My arms and legs felt numb and i sat down on the floor leaning against the wall near the entrance. Never knew that it got worse and worse...my limbs were all cramped and bent. Painful. My fingers were all clumped up and i couldn't separate them, let alone bending my limbs. I lost control over my muscles. slowly, the numbness and cramp spread over to my abdomen, then to my throat, then to my mouth, until i couldn't even speak! deep in my heart i was so frightened and kept asking myself what the hell is this. i worried my breathing would ever stop cause' breathing needs muscles to work too.
I was so lucky cause' there were great friends around, and there were nurses and doctors in the university. the nurses calmed me down and asked me to breath slowly by following her beat. My body was so hot that i perspired excessively in the moment, wetting my socks and shirt. they took of my shirt and fanned me, after a while i had rigors and shivered like mad. later i was sent to the csu room to be taken care of. Ambulance was called but they cannot make it. my blood pressure hit skyhigh 160/83 . I was covered with lots of blankets with my jacket on, and was told to breath slowly. after a while i felt better. my muscles were more relaxed. one of the sisters made me a hot milo. I felt much better for each minute passed. my muscles were getting more and more relaxed. and finally i can speak, and even smile at the jokes they cracked. the doctor said i had hyperventilation. due to the fever before hand, and due to the accumulated stress and anxiety i had during this period.
next time i know how to treat a hyperventilating patient (actually quite easy, just that they didn't have a plastic bag for me at that time...)
