Saturday, March 7, 2009
Once is enough.
"You must work harder at getting away from your past. The future's all that matters. History is nice for reference, but all it will do for you today is distract you from seeing a great opportunity that is practically staring you right in the face. Big things are happening at the moment, but you must live in the moment to see them." -Aries horoscope for march 7.
Why did I make myself believe miracles could happened. Because now I have to pretend that I don't really care...I know I have confused my feelings with the truth and I have never felt this way before. First time in my life I feel utterly upset and angry with myself. And first time in my life I am jealous of others and shame for myself. I used to have everything, but now it seems that it has meant so much to me to ever lose it, where my pride has been lying on it all the while.
Once is enough.
With some regrets of course. But I have to forgive myself to move on. I have been trying to get over it. But easier said than done. From that moment till now I couldn't smile. At that moment the first thing that came into my mind was running into my parents, cause deep down I know they will always support me no matter how I do. I am very grateful for having them and I know I am still the luckiest person in the world.
Slowly I will learn to pick up myself from rock bottom. A very painful lesson to learn indeed. But thank God for making me fall so hard this time, so that I may be able to handle more challenges in my latter life. I haven't given up hope. This is not the end until I say so and I WILL NOT LET IT END LIKE THIS!
'Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent'-Eleanor Roosevelt.
